"Guess who's back? Back again...guess who's back? Tell a friend!..."

So, it's been a long time since I have posted anything...about a year to be exact. The past year has been quite an interesting year - lots of ups and downs and good and bad. I'll try to make this quick: In January Dustyn went back to school (to be a social worker - I don't know if 2 social workers in the same house is a good thing?), he proposed (YEAH), we planned a wedding, got married On 10/10/10, bought a truck and are now getting ready for the holidays (WHEW!). As you can see, it has been quite the year with LOTS of great and wonderful things happening in my life. Unfortunately, there has been some challenges - to be expected...right? I can say, without a doubt, unfortunately, one of the biggest challenges we have had, especially here lately, has been the children. To put it quite bluntly, step-parenting sucks! For the both of us...it sucks being the parent of the kids who have the step parent and it sucks being the step parent. And, since I had a step dad, I can say quite honestly, sometimes being the step kid sucks as well. :(

As you can see from blogs a year ago, this step parenting thing has never been easy. But for some reason, it seems like it is getting harder. Why? I wish I could say because I honestly don't know. Anyways, it's been really getting to me. I hate to say it and it brings tears to my eyes to admit it, but I'm depressed. I'm not on here looking for pity, or to justify my actions, or to put down my husband, or my step kids, or to put my kid on a pedastool. More than anything, I need to vent and I am tired of venting to my friends and feeling like all I do is bring them down and all I do is complain. Being a social worker (ya, I'm a social worker and my home life sucks - lets just get it out there right now) I tell my patients and/or their family members the benefits of journaling all the time and how it's theraputic and why it's so good for a person. Guess I should practice what I preach, right? So, THAT is why I am back...for me...to get my feelings out so they are not bottled up in me ready to explode. With that being said, journaling is not going to fix everything and I know that as well. That's why I'm going to my dr. next Friday to talk about getting on an anti-depressant again (yes, I said again, I have been an prozac before and it DID help!). I really should go see a counselor because there are things that I am dealing with everyday that I honestly don't know how to get past and I don't think any amount of journaling or meds can help...but then again who knows? I guess only time will tell. 


Sit back boys and girls cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride!